Diary Entries: For Love

There are days that I wake up so full of love; and then there are days I look everywhere for…


February 24, 2013

There are days that I wake up so full of love; and then there are days I look everywhere for proof… This diary entry hits a little bit too close to home. 

When was the last time you told that amazing person in your life how much you really love them…Pick up that phone already! 

Maybe I am in love with Segun after all.

These days, I am more confused than any human being is allowed to be.

I told him just this morning that I would rather he slept at his apartment for the next few days. He had looked at me for a few moments before picking a few of his things, kissing my forehead and walking out without saying a single word.

Last night, he had come home so excited, a wrapped box in tow. In it were two return tickets to Lagos. I had thrown a fit big enough to end the world. He said nothing through it all and slept on the couch. This morning, I found him in the kitchen humming while he calmly made me breakfast.

It is Saturday and normally, we would have spent it sitting together on the window ledge of my apartment, feeding the birds. I went shopping to drown my misery instead. I am back home now. The sun has found its way home too and with the darkness that it left behind, is a overwhelming loneliness that threatens to suffocate me.

Everywhere I look, I am reminded of the man who loves me like no man in my life has ever loved me. His jar of shaving cream stands on my bathroom sink. The blue ‘I love NYC’ t-shirt he bought me on our trip to Times Square eyes me angrily from the bedside chair. On the dining table are two plates of eggs and pancakes, cold, unwanted, pathetic; just like me.

They say you never know how much you love something till you lose it.

Maybe I love this man after all.

The tickets are on the coffee table. The departure date is only a week away. I will dig out my favorite suitcase in a few minutes and start to pack. Right now though, I need to let a certain young man how much I love him and how willing I am to follow him to the ends of the earth.

Song of the day: Goapele – For Love

  • Lagos
  • NYC

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