I should write more.
I should also be more forgiving of myself that I don’t write more.
I entered in a story for an anthology a while back. Recently the curator asked for my real name. I answered back “Kiah”. She wrote back and said “No, your real name. We aren’t accepting pen names…” or something like that.
I breathed in deeply after reading the email.
I am very tired of having to explain to people that my life doesn’t begin and end with writing. Don’t get me wrong, I love the art of story telling, I love hearing people tell me how my story touched them here, there, everywhere…But my dream is not to be the next Chimamanda or Soyinka. I have a life outside all of this that I would choose over writing if push came to shove.
So today, let me give you a glimpse into my real life.
- Without planning to, I have lived and worked in 3 countries in two years. My mentor calls me “Ajala”. It is weird that this is my life. I never planned it but I love it.
- I have caught the travel bug. I went to Cuba and fell in love. Now I am learning Spanish and planning trips to Latin America and the Down Under. North America is humongous and except the popular destinations, no one ever wants to see Tennessee or Oregon or Edmonton. This year, I plan to enjoy the gifts that are the countries I live in.
- I am losing friends faster than I am making them. A few years back this would have worried me. But last year I found my place at this table called life. I learned to be content. I learned to find joy in the people sitting next to me. I learned to stop being anxious when time put distance between me and former table seat mates. Most of all I learned that some people are in your life for a season. Let go when it starts getting too hard to hold on. The best things are easy to hold on to.
- I have started working out. Like everyday. This is weird. I have always been the laziest person about working out but this is another after effect of Cuba. I stood in my swimsuit in Varadero and said “Next time I am somewhere and feel this good, I also want to feel good about my body…” Between Jillian Micheals and Keaira LaShae, I am covered.
- I am a dreamer. I believe God speaks to humans and one of those ways is through dreams. My dreams are always so vivid so clear it is amazing. Lately I have been dreaming about tomorrow and no longer about yesterday and I wake up ridiculously giddy.
- A friend reached out to me a few days ago. He had a friend in trouble. Someone else that i didn’t know. Me in the past would have said “Awww eeyah…it is well” and other stories. It felt so good reaching out to help someone I have never met and may never meet and I asked myself why I don’t do this often. Yesterday I came across this blog I had been on before and I almost started weeping. Not because the author was a fine writer but their story just broke my heart. What was the difference between now and the first time I went on that blog? The author’s story hasn’t changed but I have. I am becoming who God called me to be. His hands, His Heart, His eyes, His love. I have never been happier.
- Love; is it possible to love someone before you ever met them?
February started yesterday. You are already late in this game of love. Catch up, catch up.
Love and light,
Song of the day: Savage Garden – I knew I loved you